I'm going over the stars... JTHM

Sleep

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:35:40 GMT

these last couple of rainstorms have proved that my dog's deep-seeded fear of the rain and all things wet has gone beyond adorably ridiculous into just plain absurdity

It's still cute though....

so what have i been up to?

Wed, 14 May 2008 05:19:08 GMT

The Real World: I havn't seen you in a while, what have you been up too?

Me: Well, life's been interesting to say the least. Here's a pic to sum up recent events in my life.

The Real World: ::sigh:: oh dear

15 yrs and this house still creeps the f*ck out of me

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 07:35:52 GMT

you can only blame the loud bang type noise on the house settling the first 2 times it happens...

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 08:47:23 GMT

so i was cleaning out my computer and i fought this. its mostly finished... i think. its a weird little poem that brings up some bitter(sweet) memories about peoples and a picture. sigh. sometime you just need to share with the rest of the class.

as the phone rings
i half pray that
you never pick up
for life is never
as uncomplicated
as when my eyes close again
and i continue to dream

but in the moments between
me calling and you answering
i dream in the background
of a spectrum of colors
spewing from my lips
you call it a rainbow
i reply fuck you

Because I fail at real posts

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 23:17:38 GMT

Loss

by,
Noelle

There is a pause
between gone
and realization

There is a breath
between the shock
and a gasp

There are tears
between a sorry
and too late

And there is forever
between me
and you.

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 05:28:11 GMT

oh the things we learn...

posters

what is box happening?

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 06:17:23 GMT

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 05:48:52 GMT

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 09:12:05 GMT

i'm going to hit my head again the wall for the next couple of days cause i'm a fuckin idiot.

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 07:28:42 GMT

i find this describes the evening quite well

www.xkcd.com

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 04:33:33 GMT

i got my hair cut the other day and got cool secret hidden color in it (so not to get fired/kicked out of the cafe... as much as i hate the cafe i need the hours). the only problem is i now find myself constantly trying to run my hand through my now nonexistent hair... sigh

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:27:49 GMT

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 07:59:07 GMT

since i can't get back to sleep after waking up to whatever it was that i heard outside, i leave you this

011010010110011000100000011110010110111101110101001000000110001101100001011011100010000001110010011001010110000101100100001000000111010001101000011010010111001100100000011110010110111101110101001000000110110101101001011001110110100001110100001000000110101001110101011100110111010000100000011000100110010100100000011000010010000001101110011001010111001001100100001011100010000000100000011011110111001000100000011110010110111101110101001000000110001101101000011001010110000101110100011001010110010000100000011011000110100101101011011001010010000001101001001000000110010001101001011001000010000001100001011011100110010000100000011101010111001101100101011001000010000001100001001000000111010001110010011000010110111001110011011011000110000101110100011011110111001000101110

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 06:24:52 GMT

i think something just killed my neighbors cat outside...

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 06:19:55 GMT

What good is a story if my brain doesn't slow down enough to get it all out. My fingers seem stupid when compared to the speed of my thoughts. The keyboard just gets in the way. A hurdle i can never quite clear in time.

The 'glamor' of the lives in my head seem to make mine dull in comparison; weighing me down. I'm waiting to be able to 'jack in' and 'download'. To be left with thoughts at are my own and no one else's.

I want to delete cliché from my vocabulary.

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 08:02:51 GMT

I figure that since I’m a calmer now I can explain what happened the other day a little better.

Basically I have a really bad sore throat. It got to the point where I actually actively sought out a doctor, and I hate going to doctors. Anyways, after a night of painful swallowing and little sleep, I went to work in the morning and tried to make an appointment with my primary physician. This was not possible, however, since he was not in for the day or taking a half day... something like that (I couldn't hear the receptionist all too well over the phone). So I try calling my mother to see if I can go to a walk-in clinic (one that's covered by our insurance). Her cell was off, so I waited till we both were home to ask. After way to much talking, we make it to the Minute Clinic., a new branch of clinics that is actually located in some CVS stores. That doctor was actually quite nice and I didn't have any troubles with her. However, she had to run the insurance card twice (but that's not really her fault) and she did give me a prescription for a gel that I had to gargle

When I went get the prescription, the first pharmacy said that I didn’t have insurance. I had the same problem at the second one as well. But the guy at the second place was able to find out why the computers said that I didn’t have insurance. It’s because the insurance company has my birth date wrong. ::sigh::

In the end, the pharmacist was able to give me my prescription. But the best part was the fact that he wrote the measurements on the bottle using tablespoons and gave me measuring 'syringes' in ml. Also, the medicine is a local anesthetic in gel form that I’m supposed to gargle then swallow, when the warnings say don’t swallow. At this point, I was very tired and very hungry (I hadn’t been able to eat without pain).

By the time I convert, mixed gel with water (against instructions), and gargled/gagged, I was pretty much anger with all parts of the medical field, but especially the HMOs after hearing how our medical insurance is set up. I knew it was a little screwy, but this is ridiculous.

I can't wait for the weekend.

p.s. - I’ve also come to the conclusion that lidocaine tastes god awful terrible. At least that’s what I could tell from the few seconds before my tongue went numb.

Thu, 09 Aug 2007 01:20:34 GMT

at the moment i really really really hate doctors, insurance companies, and HMOs (but no clinic doctors, they're nice.). I hope that they all enjoy each others company in hell.

p.s. - HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GARGLE GEL!

p.p.s - sigh

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 04:49:56 GMT

this basically sums up my short vacation to otakon

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 05:10:33 GMT

amanda.... i just had an epiphany.... peter s beagle is going to be there.... molly grue, lady amalthea... i think this trip was meant to be! i think God wants me* to stop worrying and just ditch the Harry Potter lollapalooza** ::squee::!

*=this statement is entirely untrue. God has better things to do.

**=you suck

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 04:57:25 GMT

http://www.otakon.com/guests_ind.asp

PETER S. BEAGLE is going to be at OTAKON! ::dies::

p.s. - harry potter is ruining my life... i want to burn all the copies that are at borders...

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 06:43:04 GMT

zomg fire

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 23:06:20 GMT

i think the heat has fried my brian. So I wrote this. It's in first person, which i haven't really done because I don't like it/it scares me. =p
(tell me what you think)

It’s hot. Actually it almost seem like the temperature was beyond hot. Frankly after three days, it’s a bit ridiculous either way. The landlord has yet to stop by to check on the a/c. “I'll get to it,” his ever diligent mantra.

The bottle of white wine is slowly warming up on the coffee table between our feet. I’m trying to remember how we decided that if we were going to be hot and miserable, we might as well be drunk. I beginning to think that it wasn’t the greatest of ideas. The park might have been the better option, but I am too hot to care or move. I tilt my head to see if you’re still awake and smile. You look about as debauched as I feel in this heat; sprawled out on your side of the couch in next to nothing. The hair on your forehead is matted down from sweat and the condensation of the wine glass pressed against it. It’s weird but with the smile you’re wearing, it almost looks like you’re enjoying yourself.

“One more day,” you say when you finally notice me watching you. I can only smile back; it requires the least amount of effort. One more day until payday. One more day, until we can afford to buy an a/c unit for the window, and not have to rely on 'I’ll get to it'. One more day of heat. I hate the heat.

It’s another couple a minutes before I realize that I’m staring at you and that you’re staring back. You break away first and turn your head to look out the window. For some reason I don’t look away. We’ve lived together for the last eight months but it seems like I’m seeing you for the first time. If I wasn’t already dying from the heat I’d die from the cliché alone.

I watch the line of your neck with an absorption that I can only blame on the heat. Its lines are soft but the pulse point beats with a strength that I never noticed before. I feel my stomach clench with something I can only equate with loneliness. I find it funny that we’ve been living this close for this long and I’m only just noticing this now.

But what even funnier is how easy I find it to actually move in this heat. Closer to the point on your neck at beats in time with your heart. I want to feel the pulse under my finger or against my cheek as I settle against you, and you hold me close. I’m almost there when you suddenly turn and flinch back at the sudden closeness. I stop at the look on your face and I know you can see the embarrassment across my face.

“We should have gone to the park,” that’s what you say as to lean forward, peeling yourself away from the couch and towards the wine. I don’t move, not even when you accidently brush my hand reaching for the bottle. I know it’s accidently because of the way you draw back. I’m surprised when you get up with the bottle instead of pouring another glass. “I think we should have some water,” you comment on the way to the kitchen.

I don’t notice the feeling in my stomach anymore then I the notice how the heat’s suddenly made the air much heavier. You come back with a glass for you and me, wearing that ever present smile, “one more day.” You say.

“Yea, one more day,” I respond.

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 23:56:40 GMT

it's really hot in my room, and i want to go kayaking

its been a wonderful night

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 06:38:11 GMT

i may or may not have broken a few laws this evening.....

There weren't any signs on my side of the fence.

=p

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 19:29:21 GMT

The last 30 secs are WONDERFUL!